Learning to Love
by Kimmi-rin-kira
Summary: Lavi x Allen. Modern AU. Allen has had a troubled past, and since then has had a hard time understanding affection. Lavi knows all too well where Allen is coming from due to his own troubled past. Lenalee introduces the two and slowly they start to find comfort in one another, and slowly learn how to love not just themselves but one another. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Innocent Start

Chapter 1: Innocent Start

A/N: Since I have some free time I decided to start on another project that is inspired partially by an rp I have with my friend Sora. Please keep in mind that it is a Laven fic, and that its rating has been set for future chapters. I do not own anyone they belong to Katsura Hoshino.

Allen sighed as he waited for Lenalee at his apartment, she was finally back in town after a long term at college. When he had last heard from her she was on the other side of town catching up with another friend of hers. She had also mentioned that she would probably be bringing him along, if Allen didn't mind. The white haired youth had thought about objecting, but if they were a friend of Lenalee's they probably weren't so bad. His mind started to drift though.

Was this person her boyfriend?

What were they like?

Why hadn't he met them before?

"Allen are you here?" Lenalee knocked on the door smiling.

Allen opened the door and was instantly knocked over by Lenalee hugging him, "I'm here, why wouldn't I be?"

His attention then went to the man standing behind Lenalee and he could have sworn he felt his heart skip a beat. He was rather tall and despite his lithe appearance well built. He wore a soft smile that seemed to reflect in his emerald eyes, but the most striking thing to Allen was the red hair. Normally the white haired youth wasn't drawn to anyone, but this stranger had certainly caught his attention.

Lenalee smiled, "Also Allen, this is my friend Lavi."

"It's nice to meet you Allen" Lavi smiled offering his hand for the boy to shake.

Allen nodded shaking his hand almost blushing at how strong the redheads hand was, "It's nice to meet you too, Lavi."

A grin made its way onto Lenalee's face as she stared at the boys. After a few brief minutes everyone gathered inside Allen's small apartment and just started to make small talk. Lenalee told Allen about how college was going well, and that her roommate Miranda was actually a really nice person. Allen nodded really only half listening since his attention was still focused on the silent redhead, he was curious to know more about him.

Lavi took notice and faintly smiled at Allen, "This part of town is certainly a lot more different then what I'm used to. Probably a lot of good job aspects too."

"You'd be surprised" Allen looked down sadly, "Despite appearances the only jobs around here are usually temporary ones, I should know. The only reason I haven't lost this place is because my jerk of an uncle left it for me before he decided to go missing."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to dredge anything up" Lavi apologized.

Lenalee looked like she was about to say something but Allen just shook his head, "It's fine, I'm hopeful that I'll be able to find a meaningful job soon enough. I guess it's a little more difficult when everyone expects you to do something you hate."

"Something you hate?" Lavi asked curiously.

Allen looked away a little, "Though we're not related by blood…. Have you heard of the famous pianist Neah Walker?"

"I've heard of him, met the guy once can't stand him to be honest" Lavi muttered which lead to him being jabbed in the stomach by Lenalee, "What was that for!?"

Lenalee looked upset, "Lavi that was just rude to say!"

"It's alright" Allen smiled rubbing the back of his head, "I'm with Lavi I can't stand him either, he's a total arrogant jerk! Though still not as bad as my Uncle Cross…."

"But-" Lenalee started.

Lavi smiled, "If he said it's fine let it be, right? When I met him he came off that way big time, kinda ruined the rest of the night at work."

"Oh?" Allen asked interested, "Where do you work Lavi?"

"I work at the library across town as an archivist and librarian, you should come by sometime" Lavi responded.

Allen blushed faintly, but hoped that neither of his guests had noticed. He wasn't sure why he was losing his composure so easily around them. Lenalee was like a big sister to him, but this Lavi character. The redhead could just shoot him a glance and he'd probably turn beat red and make a fool of himself. What he didn't know was the redhead was having the same problem as well. Lavi wasn't sure what had happened to him, but looking at Allen could have made him blush. There was just something about the soft gray eyes, and the unusual white hair that attracted him.

Or was it because deep down he looked as damaged as he was?

Lenalee looked between the two boys and giggled slightly, "Why are you two staring at one another?"

"Huh?" both of the boys responded in unison.

The smile on Lenalee's face broadened, "I think it's cute, and that maybe you two are sizing one another up. Wonder what for though."

"Lenalee!" Lavi almost seemed flustered.

Allen looked down almost depressed, "Even if it is, who could ever care for someone as damaged as me? My adoptive father died on me, my adoptive uncle left me to my own devices, and the one that did take care of me never really wanted to! So how could I possibly be loved!?"

Lenalee and Lavi both looked shocked at Allen's admission. Allen realizing everything he just blurted out felt tears start to fall and rushed towards his bedroom slamming the door behind him. It was just his luck he found someone who caught his interest, and he had to blow it. Curling up on the bed he tried to stifle his tears and looked down at his left hand. Ages ago when despair had caught to him he had engraved a cross into his left hand, since then people had called him a freak for it.

"Allen, please open the door." Lavi called from the other side.

Allen turned and faced the door, "I-It's not locked"

Hearing the door knob turn and the door groan as it opened he turned away trying to hide his tears. Feeling the mattress sink some he noticed that Lavi was sitting next to him, and when his eyes met the redheads he could see a vast well of sympathy. Perhaps, somehow Lavi had understood what he was going through to an extent.

"I'm not going to say that I have had a worst past, because to be honest Allen your story is tragic, more so than mine. My parents died when I was young too on my birthday in a fatal car crash. Since then my grandfather who quite frankly hated children took care of me, at the best of his ability. I don't have a lot of good memories due to the slight neglect though. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, if you ever feel like you're alone…You're not. If you need someone to talk to about stuff like that, I'd be more than happy to listen." Lavi smiled weakly.

Allen could have burst into tears once more, "Lavi, t-thank you…I d-don't know what to say."

The redhead smiled and then noticed Allen's left hand. With a gentle motion he took the scared hand in his own and kissed the scared over flesh, "It's always a shame to see someone driven to that extent, but it shows just how strong you really are."

"I-It doesn't bother you?" Allen asked softly.

Lavi shook his head, "Nah, if anything it just adds to the mystery that's you."

Lenalee watched quietly from the doorway, she would have never expected things to turn out like this at all. Smiling softly she was thankful that Allen and Lavi had already hit it off, and that it looked like they could become close friends fast. Perhaps they could be something even more though, she could see how they could help one another heal from their pasts.

'Perhaps they can help one another pick up the pieces' Lenalee thought and watched as Lavi continued to console Allen.

-End of Chapter 1-


	2. Neah's Visit

Chapter 2: Neah's Visit

A/N: I own nothing, it all goes to Katsura Hoshino.

It had been about three months since Allen had met Lavi, and within those three months he felt himself starting to recover from his past. Lavi had stayed true to what he told Allen and was there no matter when the boy wanted to talk. Allen often felt bad since he was the one who often just talked and talked until all hours in the night. On average their phone calls lasted well into the late hours of the morning, but yet Lavi never seemed to complain or mind. His voice was something that soothed Allen's frayed nerves. Feeling his phone off Allen looked down and noticed who was calling and smiled faintly.

"Hey Lavi" Allen responded looking out the window of his apartment.

Lavi's voice sounded rather upbeat, "I have today off, I was wondering if you were interested in hanging out or something."

"That actually sounds like a good idea" Allen smiled on his end, "I've been rather bored for the last few days."

"Aww that one job didn't go through?" Lavi asked, and from the sounds Allen could tell that the redhead was already on his way.

"I wouldn't be comfortable scamming people out of their money" Allen admitted, "I would feel horrible actually."

"Yet have no problem cheating in poker" Lavi responded playfully, "I'll be there in about forty five minutes? Want to do lunch or something when I get there?"

"Sounds great" Allen smiled.

Lavi laughed a little, "Alright seen you soon!"

Allen smiled and hung up feeling like a huge cloud had been lifted from his thoughts. Any time he could spend with Lavi put him in a better mood, and usually that mood stuck for quite some time. Just as he was about to get ready there was a knock at the door. Curious he peered through the window and felt his blood run cold, it was his uncle.

"Open up Allen. I know you're home" Neah smiled coldly.

Allen felt his blood run cold, Neah only showed up on two occasions. One to get money off the boy much like Cross, or two to belittle and destroy any sense of hope he had left in the world. Having a bad feeling he decided to slip into the back of his apartment and hope that Neah would eventually go away on his own. He was so excited about the day, and now he was terrified to even leave his home. Picking up his phone he was almost tempted to call Lavi and cancel, but he wanted to see the redhead desperately. Hearing the knocking on his front door getting louder he dialed Lavi's number out of sheer panic.

Lavi groaned as he hit another red light and heard his phone go off, seeing it was Allen he put it on speaker phone, "Allen are you alright? I'm still aways off."

"Lavi, please hurry" Allen sounded alarmed.

For some reason the redhead felt his blood run cold, "Allen what's wrong?"

"Neah is here! I don't know what he wants but I'm terrified to face him…I…Please just-"

"Stay somewhere safe, I'll be there as soon as I can. If he tries anything call the police okay?" Lavi responded flooring the gas as soon as the light turned green.

"R-Right…Lavi?" Allen asked.

Lavi smiled faintly, "I can stay on the phone if you need me to, okay? I hate hearing you sound so distressed can really tear at a guy's heart you know."

"That was a corny line" Allen smiled faintly laughing a little.

Lavi smiled and mentally groaned as he hit another red light, "I swear the lights are conspiring against me. Do you think he's still there?"

Before Allen could respond he felt a hand cover his mouth and his eyes widened, "Mph!"

"Allen!?" Lavi asked sounding more alarmed.

Neah smirked and picked up the phone, "So you're the one my useless nephew has taken a shining to. That voice, ah yes I remember you the rude boy who ruined my performance at the library so long ago."

"What do you want?" Lavi demanded his voice growing cold and devoid of emotion.

Neah smiled codly, "Just to make my dear nephews life a living hell is all."

Allen watched in fear as Neah hung up as Lavi yelled multiple profanities at him. The dark haired man smiled and pulled Allen up to his feet, "You truly are useless, Allen. I don't even know what my dear brother saw in you. Why don't you just give up? You'll eventually lose him too."

"Y-You're wrong…" Allen weakly responded, "L-Lavi would n-never…Leave that's what friends are for."

Neah laughed, "Foolish nephew, he's not your friend you're just using him!"

Before Allen could say anything Neah pulled out a pocket knife and drew the sharpened blade against the scars in the boy's left hand. Allen had hoped that it would have just ended at that but he was wrong. Next Neah pulled out a flask of what he assumed to be alcohol and with the other hand kept a firm grip on his wrist. Without remorse he started to pour the alcohol over the now opened flesh, causing Allen to scream in agony. As he laid there whimpering in pain Neah helped himself to Allen's savings and left not even bothering to close the door behind him. Allen wasn't sure how long he laid there unresponsive to the world around him.

"Allen!" a voice called that slowly brought him back.

Blinking a few times Allen's eyes met Lavi's and he felt a small sense of relief, "L-Lavi….you're here…"

Lavi nodded and helped Allen sit up, concern was evident in the redhead's eyes. Looking at Allen's left hand he felt his heart sink, someone had reopened the old scars, and from the smell of the room probably doused the open wound with alcohol. He looked to Allen and could tell the boy was still in a lot of pain. Sighing sadly he took Allen to the living room and started to bandage Allen's wound, mentally cursing himself that he couldn't do anything to protect his friend.

"I'm sorry I didn't get here in time" Lavi started.

Allen shook his head, "Lavi you were over half an hour away, there was nothing you could have done."

"I could have gone faster!" Lavi snapped almost looking distraught.

Allen felt his heart break a little and pulled Lavi into a hug which even shocked himself, "I heard, sometimes hugging someone helps…I hope it does…Lavi don't blame yourself you got here to help me recover…Before I met you chances are I would have just laid there unresponsive for who knows how long…S-So thank you."

Lavi hung his head low and sighed weakly, "I swear every time I get close to someone they get hurt…Allen.. Let me finish tending your wound, then let's get out of here for a bit."

Allen nodded allowing Lavi to bandage his hand and blushed faintly as Lavi kissed the bandages. Slowly Allen was starting to come to a conclusion with Lavi's actions. He was starting to have feelings for Lavi, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. As Lavi helped pull him up he felt a little of his uncertainty vanish, "Let's get out of here."

Lavi nodded and pulled Allen outside, "I couldn't agree more."

With a little lighter heart Allen followed Lavi outside and to his car. He wasn't sure where they would go, but anywhere but the apartment would be a good start.

=End of Chapter 2=


	3. Distractions

Chapter 3: Distractions

A/N: I own nothing, it belongs to Katsura Hoshino.

Allen watched as the city streets flew by him in the passenger seat of Lavi's car. After Neah's visit he was left rather shaken, and in response Lavi decided to take him out of the city for the time being. Allen was still adjusting of actually riding in a car, he was often walking or taking the city buses to get from one place to another. Looking out the window though kept him from looking at how fast his friend was driving, he really didn't want to know. Before long the city gave way to the suburbs, and soon the suburbs gave way to the country. He noticed how winding the road seemed, and on the one side the road dropped down into a ravine. Silence consumed the car which left him a little uneasy, he turned to Lavi and noticed that he seemed uneasy about something.

"Lavi?" He asked softly.

Lavi sighed softly and stopped the car, "I'm sorry Allen. I need to take a moment…"

"Is something wrong?" Allen asked carefully.

The redhead looked like he was struggling with his words, "It was on this road, where the accident happened. The idiot was speeding when the roads were starting to flood. We hydroplaned and the car rolled three times before coming to a stop in the ravine below….They died, I walked away with minor injuries."

"Lavi, I'm so sorry" Allen started, "If it's too much, why don't we head back towards town?"

Lavi shook his head, "It's fine. I want to get you away from there for a little, so don't mind me."

Allen looked hurt and shook his head in response, "Lavi, how could I enjoy this diversion if I know you're hurting too? You're always there for me when I need someone to turn to, why can't you do the same with me? I want to repay you somehow…"

Lavi remained silent, but looked like he was in serious thought. Since the boy could remember showing his emotions around his grandfather was considered a sign of weakness. One that he was often reprimanded for, and often beat for as well. Allen did have a point though, he was letting the white haired boy lean on him for support. Perhaps, he was right, perhaps Lavi should at least lean on Allen a little as well. Looking over at the white haired boy he could see that Allen was deeply concerned. With a faint smile he finally decided on what he needed to do, "You're right, Allen."

"Huh?" Allen blinked.

Lavi leaned his head against the steering wheel, "I am hurting a lot, I don't know how to really express myself and feelings. Anytime when I did as a kid I was often reprimanded for it. It's always been easier for me to help others, but refuse help myself."

"Well you just started opening up and accepting it now but saying that much" Allen smiled and then leaned into his seat, "Man we've both have had messed up lives huh?"

Lavi nodded almost laughing a little, "But hey if this is rock bottom we only have one place to go from here right?"

"Let's hope so" Allen smiled softly, "I think we really can help one another out. Thanks you I've been feeling a lot more confident."

Lavi nodded, "I've noticed, you don't seem as timid as when we first met. You've really come a long way already Allen."

The white haired boy shook his head, "Far from it! There's something that my uncle said that makes me feel horrible though….He accused me of just using you."

"Are you?" Lavi asked quietly.

Allen shook his head, "No! I'd never be able to live with myself to use someone else…Lavi you're the only friend I have besides Lenalee…If I lost either of you, I'd never be able to forgive myself.."

The redhead looked at Allen and sighed softly, "Allen, even if you are or were I don't mind. It wouldn't be the first time someone has taken advantage of me and my emotionally jagged state."

Allen felt his heart nearly break at the redhead's words, "I carry physical scars, and you emotional ones….I don't mind though" Allen smiled softly and looked at Lavi, "It just adds to the mystery that is you."

Lavi's eyes widened as Allen repeated back the same words that he had said at their first meeting. Feeling his cheeks heat up some he smiled faintly and started the car back on their small trip from the city. As long as they were away from there hopefully the tension would ease up. He could tell that Allen was still shaken up by his uncles actions, even he was. How could someone be so cruel to their own nephew, even if they were adopted? Then again he wasn't sure on how his own grandfather could be as cruel as he was to him. Shaking the thoughts away he wore a soft smile and turned on the radio hoping some sort of station would come in. With a little luck they found a station that played a variety of things.

Allen started humming along to the song that was playing without even realizing it. Once the song ended another one started and to his surprise Lavi started to sing along to it. Soon Allen caved in and started singing as well, it was only the two of them maybe Lavi wouldn't notice just how tone deaf Allen thought he was. Though it was only for a few minutes Allen could have sworn he felt like he was on cloud nine, he and his best friend were running away from their problems together. As the song came to an end he turned the radio down as they started to enter a small town.

"Aww why'd you turn it down?" Lavi asked as they pulled into the gas station.

Allen shrugged, "Didn't want to get funny looks?"

"We're from the city of course we're going to get weird looks" Lavi smiled faintly and got out to refuel the car.

Allen watched from the window and realized just how peaceful the town really seemed to be, and that despite just showing up there Lavi was already making small talk with one of the other people pumping gas. It was almost like Lavi had frequented the town often or something. Then something caught the boy's attention, the faint tune of a circus. It brought back memories of one person he had longed to see again.

Mana.

Had Lavi brought him here because of the circus? Or was it just a mere coincidence? Once the redhead got back in the car he noticed that Allen seemed to be lost in thought. Smiling he started the car once more, "Tell me Allen, are you afraid of clowns?"

Allen smiled shaking his head thankful that he was probably right, "Not at all. My father was actually a traveling one."

"Oh good then you're going to love this" Lavi smiled as they started down the road again.

Allen felt something well up inside of him, like he was a young child again. Lavi had brought him to one place that brought back the very few good memories he had of his childhood. His excitement grew more once he saw the big top tent, the circus animals, and of course the clowns from inside the car. Allen made a mental note to thank Lavi as much as he could after tonight, it was exactly what he needed. Lavi smiled thankful that he had guessed right in bringing Allen to the circus that was in town. He also made a mental note to give Allen the best distraction that he could, which from the looks of it wouldn't be hard considering where they were.

Allen turned to Lavi, "Is this where we're going for the night?"

"Of course it is! Who doesn't love the circus?" Lavi smiled, "Let's go have a good time, alright?"

Allen nodded looking like a child who was given a puppy on their birthday, "Lavi thank you! Let's go!"

"Lead the way, Allen" Lavi smiled and followed Allen towards the circus. He wasn't sure what the night would bring, but as long as he could see Allen smiling and forgetting about the nightmare that happened earlier he would be content.

=End=


	4. Circus Delights

Chapter 4: Circus Delights

A/N: I own nothing, it belongs to Katsura Hoshino.

"I haven't been to a circus in so long" Allen grinned as he looked around the center of the circus camp.

Lavi sighed softly glad that Allen was already enjoying himself, "I can tell. You look like a kid in a candy store."

"Is that a bad thing?" Allen asked turning to Lavi.

Lavi shook his head, "Not at all, if anything it's actually kinda cute."

"C-Cute?" Allen asked.

Lavi rubbed the back of his head, "Ah sorry it must be from me being so tired from work. I've been pulling a lot of extra hours."

Allen decided to let it go, but he certainly didn't buy it simply for the fact that he could tell Lavi was faintly blushing when he came up with his excuse. He was happy though, not just because they were at the circus, but because Lavi had called him cute. It had been three months, and he was still struggling with trying to figure out his feelings for the redhead.

'Maybe I'll ask Lenalee more about it when she comes home for fall break' Allen thought to himself, only to be jerked by his arm as the elephants began their parade through the main lane of the camp. Looking to see who had pulled him he was greeted with Lavi's concerned face, "Lavi..?"

Lavi sighed, "You spaced out, just wanted to make sure you didn't get trampled to death."

"T-Thanks" Allen blushed faintly, whatever these feelings were it caused him to feel funny.

Lavi nodded and watched as the large mammals paraded through the circus grounds. He was captivated by it, but not as much as Allen's sheer happiness had. The day was rather young still and he hoped that they'd be able to stay until mid-evening since he would have to work tomorrow. Once the elephants went past Allen gently pulled his sleeve and led him to another part of the circus that seemed to catch his interest.

The carnival games, the one thing Lavi was convinced to be rigged so you'd lose. However, Allen walked through them almost looking innocent and gullible until he came to one that caught his interest. It was the typical "strong man" type of game, use a hammer to hit the weight and if it rang the bell you'd win a prize. He noticed that Allen seemed to be interested in one of the prizes that were being offered, "Allen?"

Allen jumped slightly, "Sorry, just seeing the one thing reminds me of Mana. D-Don't mind me though!"

"Do you want it?" Lavi asked flatly.

Allen seemed at a loss for words which to Lavi easily translated to, yes. The redhead sighed and handed Allen his coat and walked up to the man running the game, "How much is it for a swing?"

The man chuckled, "5 bucks three swings, you feeling lucky bud?"

"I don't need luck" Lavi smiled calling the man on his bluff and handed over five dollars, "Now get out of my way."

Allen stood there watching as Lavi grabbed the hammer that was to be used, the redhead didn't even seem to be struggling with it. It also gave him a chance to actually see the strong arms Lavi had often kept hidden by wearing long sleeves or jackets constantly, why would he want to hide a body like that? Feeling a faint blush crawl onto his cheeks he was pulled away as soon as he heard the weight hit the bell. Somehow Lavi had managed to win during his second swing. Smiling Lavi walked past the man managing the game after getting the prize Allen had wanted.

"Here, Allen." Lavi smiled and handed him a stuffed cat.

Allen tried to hide the blush that was forming, "T-Thanks, you didn't have to though!"

"It's nothing really" Lavi smiled and led Allen towards the big top as the show was about to start.

The two found a seat that was in between the close seats and furthest away from the actual ring. As soon as the ring master appeared the show began to pick up pace, the first act was the elephants that they had seen earlier. The performed a multitude of tricks including the smallest one which appeared to still be an infant balancing on a ball. What left Lavi speechless was the elephants as they exited started trumpeting the actual circus theme. Looking to his left he could see that Allen's attention was glued onto the circus ring. Once the elephants had left the lion tamer came out and explained that what they did was very dangerous, which seemed like common sense. Allen watched as the lions performed a multitude of tricks, and how one seemed to "argue" with the trainer by constantly roaring at him in defiance. Once the lion had said his last words and the act finished the ring master appeared once more.

"Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, it is my pleasure to introduce a new act that we have with us this year. We were very fortunate enough that a family of acrobats from the mysterious land of China have joined us for this year's season" the ring master smiled, "May I ask that you give the Ying family a warm welcome!"

Everyone stood up and applauded as a young couple and child appeared in the middle of the ring. Both Allen and Lavi were captivated by the Eastern flare the family provided with their acrobat routine. There was tightrope walking in which the young child did alone with no net or support. The adults flew through the air on the trapeze catching the attention of much of the crowd. For their final stunt the mother sat on the father's shoulders, and the daughter on her mothers, and the man walked on the tightrope carrying the weight of his family on his shoulders. Once their act was finished, it was time for the last group to perform, and they didn't need an introduction.

Allen's face lit up when a small car drove into the ring, and soon clowns were pouring out of the small automobile. Lavi had lost count at how many clowns there were, but as long as he could see Allen smiling and happy he would be content. Allen's eyes lit up as one of the clowns came into the audience looking for someone who was "willing" in the audience. What he didn't expect though was the clown to suddenly be in front of him. Though the pie the clown was holding never made it to his face, instead he heard people laughing and turned to his side to see Lavi covered in a banana cream pie. Lavi looked anything but amused, and Allen found it increasingly hard to not laugh with the rest of the audience. Instead he handed Lavi his coat and sighed in relief once the clown left. The act continued as the clowns went about entertaining the audience until the show ended.

"What a relief" Lavi sighed as they walked back to his car.

Allen looked at him, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine" Lavi grumped, still not too happy smelling like banana cream pie.

Allen sighed softly and pulled Lavi into a hug catching the redhead off guard, "Thank you Lavi, thank you for doing this for me…. It's the sweetest thing anyone has done for me."

Lavi's expression softened and he patted Allen's head, "Don't mention it, I couldn't stand seeing you like that…. It's getting late let's get you home, then I gotta head home and crash before work. My boss has been working me to the bone."

"If it's too late, you can always crash at my place" Allen smiled faintly getting into his seat.

Lavi shook his head slightly and started the car, "I appreciate it Allen, but it's probably not a good idea." The redhead was afraid that he'd lose control of himself, and do something that could hurt Allen. A worse thought began to creep through his mind, that Allen would possibly hate him for his actions.

Allen wanted to ask why it wasn't, but instead let it be as Lavi drove them back home in silence. Pulling up to Allen's apartment Lavi placed the car in park and got out to walk Allen back to his place. The white haired youth was shocked that anyone could be so courteous and allowed Lavi to lead him. Holding on to Lavi's hand with one hand, and his other holding onto his newest prized possession he felt complete. Once they stood at the door Allen noticed that Lavi was avoiding his gaze, "Lavi?"

"I'm sorry Allen, I can't hold back anymore….If you never want to talk to me after this I understand" Lavi said quietly before pulling the white haired boy into a kiss.

Allen's eyes widened as Lavi pulled away, "L-Lavi…w-what?!"

"I'm sorry, I can't seem to control myself around you… I…I should go" Lavi apologized once more and started to walk towards the stairs.

Allen wasn't sure what he was feeling right now but he cried out desperately for the redhead to return. The whole scene kept replaying through his head, Lavi had actually kissed him. Holding his head he started to feel tears stream down his cheeks, the one person he was starting to care for had left before he could even say anything. He was happy for the affection, but crushed by how the one who gave it seemed to be scared of it himself. Pulling himself together Allen collapsed into his bed clinging to the prize Lavi had won for him.

'Lavi, why did you run away? Why did you apologize for kissing me….Why did you think I'd be angry?' where the last thoughts Allen had before drifting to sleep.

=End=


	5. Lenalee's Aid

Chapter 5: Lenalee's Aid

A/N: Sorry everyone this one is a little heavy on the dialogue side. I own nothing it belongs to Katsura Hoshino.

Allen sighed and laid his head on the table, it had been almost a month since he had last saw, or even heard from Lavi. The last few minutes he remembered of the redhead kept replaying through his head. As much as it pained him, he had grown strong feelings for the redhead, and not hearing from him hurt. It hurt more so than the cross that he had opened out of his despair on his left hand once more. Picking up his phone he dialed one certain number once more.

"Hi you've reached Lavi, I'm sorry I can't answer my phone right now. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!" Lavi's voice played back on the other end.

Allen sighed softly, "Lavi please I need to talk to you… Why do you keep avoiding me? Please….Please just let me know you're okay! I'm not angry or anything…If anything I'm hurting because I can't see you!" he realized that he was on the verge of tears again. Hanging up he had taken note that it actually rang a few times before going to voicemail. Getting up he sighed and got ready to see Lenalee who was in town once more on her college break. When she had heard about what had happened she seemed just as shocked.

"Allen you home?" Lenalee knocked on the door.

Allen turned around, "It's open just come in."

"Alright.." Lenalee walked through the door and noticed just how much of a wreck Allen seemed.

She could have felt her heart shatter at the sight that Allen had become. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping well, and that he had recently been crying. Pulling her friend into a hug she wanted to kick Lavi's ass for making Allen this way. Deciding it was best to get Allen out of the house she took him out to a small café that was close by.

"Thanks for taking me out Lena" Allen looked down at his bandaged hand.

Lenalee sighed sadly, "Allen, you need to take better care of yourself. How long has he been avoiding you?"

"Three weeks, four hours, and twenty six minutes" Allen looked at her, "I can't seem to lose track of how long I feel like this."

The girl looked at her best friend, "You really care about him don't you, Allen?"

"I do, at first I thought it was weird, but the longer I've gone without talking to him it just drives me crazy…I need to hear from him Lenalee! Or just know that he's okay…" Allen looked away slightly.

Lenalee nodded and pulled out her phone and dialed a certain number, "Then let's do what we can about that."

"Lenalee what are you doing?!" Allen asked shocked.

Lenalee held her finger to her lips telling Allen to be quiet as someone picked up the phone, "You have some nerve!"

"Lenalee what is this about?" Lavi's voice responded, but it didn't sound the same as Allen remembered. He sounded like he was in pain as well.

Lenalee sighed, "I don't know what's going on, but I haven't heard from Allen. I've been trying to get ahold of him all week. I'm scared Lavi what if something happened to him!?"

"W-wait what!? Why didn't you tell me sooner!?" Lavi's voice almost sounded alarmed.

'Lenalee that's just cruel' Allen thought and tried to keep himself calm.

Before Lenalee could say anything Lavi had hung up, and soon Allen found himself with a text message from Lavi. Though his heart did sink when he read it, it didn't match the alarmed voice he heard on the other end of Lena's phone call.

'Lenalee is worried about you. Please call her as soon as you get this'. Allen sighed with half a heart and replied back, "I understand. Lavi, please can we talk?"

Allen held his breath hoping for an answer, but he never got one. Lenalee's phone rang once more and she answered it acknowledging that it was the redhead once more, "Lavi did you hear from him?"

"He said he'll call you. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to work." Lavi responded.

Lenalee looked down sadly, "Lavi you sound like you're in pain, do you want to catch up?"

"I'm fine Lenalee, I just did something to hurt someone I care about. I can't even face them now" Lavi responded, "Sure why don't we catch up this evening, the usual spot?"

"Sure" Lenalee replied, "I'll go check on Allen and then meet you there."

"Alright, see you later then" Lavi responded and hung up.

Allen looked at Lenalee, "Lena…"

Lenalee smiled and shook her head, indicating that she would do what she could to help them, but not allow herself to be caught up in the middle. For the rest of the afternoon they hung out, did some shopping, and soon it was time for Lenalee to go catch up with Lavi. As she dropped Allen off she gave him a quick hug, "I'm sure he misses you Allen. Lavi's never been that great with feelings…That's why I thought you two may have been good for one another. It's my fault you two are like this…"

Allen shook his head, he was thankful that Lenalee had introduced him to Lavi. The redhead had made his life much more bearable until the sudden cut off of all information. He watched as Lenalee left and cuddled up with the stuffed cat that he had affectionately named Mana. He hoped that Lenalee could shed some light as to what was going on.

A while later in the other part of the city Lenalee entered a small bar that was located in the city's old strip district. It wasn't the greatest place to be in the city, but when your sorrows got the better of you, this was the place to go. It was here years ago she had met Lavi during a local library program. Noticing her friend she sat down across from Lavi and noticed how ill he looked, "You look as bad as he did. Lavi what happened? Why are you avoiding Allen?"

Lavi refused to meet her gaze, "I couldn't stop myself Lenalee, he probably hates me."

"What did you do?" Lenalee pressed gently.

The redhead looked down defeated, "I kissed him, then in fear of him hating me I ran away…Then I guess as to shelter myself I cut off all communication." He sounded pained and appeared to be close to tears, "But every morning like clockwork Allen calls me and leaves a message, just wanting to make sure I'm okay."

"Why do you think he does that?" Lenalee asked smiling softly.

Lavi shook his head, "I don't know! I…I just don't understand. I mean after what I did, why does he still care?"

"I think you're hurting him more now than what you did with a simple kiss" Lenalee responded, "When I saw Allen he was a wreck, he looks like he had lost a bit of weight. The scar on his left hand, he recently reopened it from how it appeared. When I talked to him, all he would go on about is how he missed you, and how hurt he was since you had shut him out."

Looking at Lavi she could see the pain in his eyes, and was now probably blaming himself for Allen's agony. Taking one of the redhead's hands in her own she sighed softly, "Just talk to him or something Lavi, since you ran away you never got to know how Allen truly felt. He doesn't hate you, if anything I'd say he's slowly working on the opposite, though I know it's something you're afraid of isn't it?"

"You mean-"

Lenalee nodded, "That's right Lavi, I know you're afraid to love someone. Allen used to be as well, but thanks to you he's slowly opening up to those feelings."

Lavi nodded still trying to make sense of what was going on. If Allen really wasn't angry, but instead in agony because of his actions after running away he owed it to the boy to try and make amends. After a little more catching up with Lenalee they parted ways and he made his way towards his apartment. Looking at his phone he read the text from Allen, and decided it was time to start facing his fears. Dialing the number he waited anxiously for the white haired youth to pick up.

"Hello, Allen can't come to the phone right now" a voice responded.

Lavi felt his blood run cold, "Who are you?"

"I'm one of Allen's uncle's. May I ask who this is?" a voice responded.

"My name is Lavi….When Allen's able, please tell him to call me back. I wanted to talk to him about something." Lavi responded only to have the phone hung up on him.

Deep down the redhead couldn't shake a bad feeling about something that was to come. Looking down at his phone screen once more he sent a text to Allen with an address, somewhere he could go if he truly wanted to find him.

When Allen had awoken, there was a text message from Lavi.

Allen, I think we should talk about what happened. Whenever you get the chance find a way to 1003 North Third. I've been caught up at work, but you'll most likely find me here. I am so sorry about all of this…I've been a horrible person and friend.

Upon reading the text Allen knew that he had to see Lavi as soon as possible. His attention then turned to a note sitting on his table, it was from his Uncle Neah. It simply said one word.

Eviction.

=End=


	6. Storms and Reunion

Chapter 6: Storms and Reunion

A/N: I still own nothing, it belongs to Katsura Hoshino. I hope everyone is enjoying this little project so far. To be honest I am not sure how far it will go, but I don't think I'm finished just yet.

Allen sat in the back of a city bus replaying the start of his day, waking up to Neah storming in and throwing him out of the apartment with pretty much the clothes on his back. He was thankful though that the owner of the building had found another unit for him that was actually nicer than the one he had, and at a cheaper price. He adored the landlady she was a sweet woman who had taken a liking to Allen, often calling him her adopted grandchild. As Neah threw Allen's belongings out, she had ensured that everything was moved to the new unit without fail. That was part of the day he was rather shocked about. Now his next challenge was to find the address that Lavi had texted him the night before. It had been twenty-two days, five hours, and 30 minutes since Allen had last seen the redhead. He was anxious, how much had the redhead changed after their last meeting.

Allen also had something else to look forward to with his day, he had a job interview with a business on the other side of town. Though he wasn't familiar with it he decided to go early and explore the area so he had a general understanding of the layout. As the bus stopped he got up and thanked the driver, asking for directions on how to get to his next destination.

"You'll want to head down to 5th Avenue, then take a left onto Song Way." The driver smiled, "Good luck with your interview."

Allen nodded, "Thank you very much."

Exiting the bus Allen was hit by the realization that he was fortunate enough to live on the other side of town. Looking around he could now understand why Lavi would often come and visit him, instead of letting him come see him. Following the drivers instructions he found the first place he was looking for, Millennium Incorporated. They had contacted him with a possible temporary position, and he figured the experience couldn't hurt only if he could make it through the interview. Taking a deep breath he walked into the main lobby and noticed a girl sitting at the desk.

"Ah you must be Allen Walker, correct? I am Lulu Bell. Mr. Earl will see you shortly." Lulu responded looking up from her computer screen.

Allen nodded and took a seat, "Thank you."

After about ten minutes Allen was summoned to the executive's office, and got to meet Mr. Millennium himself. He was a large man who was dressed in a rather expensive looking suit. He looked up from his papers with piercing eyes, which looked even sharper from behind his small thin framed glasses. The one thing that caught Allen's attention the most though was the top hat and odd looking umbrella sitting at the edge of the desk.

"So you must be Allen Walker. I am known as Mr. Millennium, it's a pleasure to meet you." The man smiled and offered his hand.

Allen nodded shaking it, "I wanted to thank you for the opportunity, sir."

The first thing the man noticed was Allen's bandaged left hand, "My my that looks like a serious injury."

"It's nothing serious I can assure you" Allen smiled faintly.

With no more words the interview started, but Allen felt extremely off about the whole ordeal. The entire time the man stared at his bandaged hand, and finally pulled away the bandage much to Allen's dismay.

"A self-harmer huh? I always have liked my things slightly damaged" Millennium laughed.

Allen got up sensing a red flag slowly rising, "I'm sorry, thank you for the opportunity but I don't believe I would be a good fit for this job."

The man grabbed his wrist, "You're not going anywhere, Walker."

The earl pulled Allen close and started to eye him almost lustfully, it gave Allen a chill that ran deep into his soul. This man was bad news, the people who probably worked with him were bad news as well. The scent of cigars and cologne were enough to make the white haired boy sick, and the words the man uttered made his skin crawl.

"You would sell so well I'm sure of it. Such a unique appearance, if anything I'd most likely keep you to myself. Neah said you were something, you look so fragile though. Almost like a porcelain doll, yes Road would love your company." The Earl smiled, "Would you like that Walker? You'd be well taken care of, Road would absolutely adore you."

'Don't panic Allen. What was that one move Lavi showed me for self-defense…Oh right' Allen thought sliding his wrist out of the man's grasp. Without a second thought he bolted from the office building not caring that it was starting to storm. Pulling his coat to him he looked around for the nearest bus stop and hoped that one would come eventually. In the meantime he saw a small shop that made him realize that he was hungry. Walking into it he noticed a few people enjoying a lunch and seemed to be having a good time. Maybe they could point him in the right direction of the address Lavi had given him.

"You alright kid? You don't look well" one of the people asked.

Allen jumped slightly, "Ah sorry I'm just a little shaken up. I went to a job interview that went horribly wrong. Actually maybe you could help me."

One of the others got up smiling and offer his hand to shake, "I'm Reever Wenhamm, and if you're lost we're more than happy to help you out. These two with me are Dup Tap and Johnny Gill."

"It's nice to meet you as well" Allen smiled, "I don't think I'm quite lost just looking around the area."

The group of men nodded, "Well we hope you enjoy your sightseeing."

Allen nodded and watched as the group left hearing them muttering somethings about having to return back to work, and dealing with an upset coworker. The boy would have asked more but it was none of his business. His attention turned to the TV sitting in the corner of the small dining area and felt his heart sink. There was a hurricane coming up the coast and would be in the area by nightfall. The city mayor was shown next explaining that all public transit would be shutting down within the hour, and for people to hunker down and wait out the storm. That changed Allen's entire day, he would have to rush to the nearest stop and hope he could reach the hub before the buses stopped running. Bolting out the door he rushed to the nearest stop, but to his dismay the bus flew by it.

"Great, just great!" Allen cried, "I'm lost in a part of town I know nothing about, my phone's almost dead, and I'm all alone!"

Realizing he was alone he started to trek through the streets in the downpour trying to find any hope of finding North Third. It wasn't until close to dark that he had found North Street, and his hope was slowly starting to return. He looked around and realized that lot of the buildings on the street and its intersections were government run buildings from the water works, local offices, and then finally the one that hit him.

A Library.

'Please be open still' Allen pleaded and reached for the door, surprised to see that it was unlocked. Walking through the door he was greeted by the smell of paper, books, and a very faint hint of vanilla. His attention then turned to three people who were standing at the main desk going through a short meeting.

"Sorry we're close-Allen?!" Reever looked shocked, "What are you doing here? Better yet why are you soaking wet?!"

Allen couldn't bear it anymore and felt tears start to roll down his cheeks, "I've been lost in this part of town for hours. I missed the last bus before the system shut down due to the oncoming storm….I h-hate to ask Reever, but what is this buildings address?"

Reever sighed faintly and offered Allen a chair at the desk, "1003 North Third Street. Why do you ask?"

"Does someone by the name of Lavi happen to work here?" Allen asked coughing.

Reever nodded and turned to Johnny, "Go get that idiot out of the archive room and tell him to-"

Before Reever could finish his sentence Allen felt something warm get placed over his shoulders. The smell of old books was enough to indicate on who it was, "Lavi…"

"Allen…" Lavi sounded like he was still in pain, "Allen why were you out in this weather!? You could have gotten ill!"

Allen coughed into his sleeve and looked up sheepishly, "A little late for that…I missed the last bus before the system shut down….Is this a dream, or am I really awake?"

Lavi looked like he could have snapped at him for that question but instead pulled him into a hug shaking a little himself, "What do you think?"

"You look like a mess" Allen teased softly.

Lavi scoffed, "Look who's talking."

Allen smiled faintly and let himself rest in the arms of the one person he had been dying to see once more. Just hearing his voice was enough to make him happy, but here he was actually wrapped up in Lavi's trembling arms. Looking up he could have sworn he saw a faint tear, "Lavi?"

"I'll be off soon. They're shutting the place down due to the weather it'll be too dangerous to take you back to your place, so you can wait out the storm with me…We can talk about what happened, and maybe over other stupid things too…" Lavi replied quietly.

Allen nodded and sat there with Lavi's arms wrapped around him as Reever continued on with the meeting. Once they were dismissed Allen watched as they got ready to close the place down, and felt lonely as soon as Lavi had let go of him. He watched as the redhead put a few books away, and then returned to the desk, "I need to go put a few things away in the archive room. Why don't you come with me."

Allen nodded and got up ready to follow the redhead anywhere he went. As if by instinct Lavi had grabbed Allen's hand and soon they were on their way down the hall to the archive room. Quickly Lavi pulled Allen into the room and shut the door locking it behind them. They were now alone, and there was much to be said.

=End=


	7. Truth

Chapter 7: Truth

A/N: I hope this is living up to expectations. Please don't hesitate to let me know how good or awful this really is. I don't own anything it all belongs to Katsura Hoshino.

Allen leaned against the wall of the archive room and desperately tried to find his voice to talk to Lavi. He was trying to sort out his emotions between happy, upset, and something else. Pulling Lavi's jacket around him tighter he looked around the room and noticed several old books and files that looked like they were in the process of being put away. Before Lavi could return to putting them away though Allen caught his hand in his own, "Lavi, please…why did you run away that night?"

"I was afraid you would hate me, and then to shelter my own jaded self I thought maybe I should cut all contact" Lavi sighed sadly, "I was afraid."

"That I would hate you?" Allen asked.

Lavi nodded, "Partially, yes. I think I was more afraid of the feelings I was starting to get for you though."

"Feelings? I don't think I'm following too well." Allen admitted sadly.

Lavi sighed softy and poked his forehead, "There is one emotion that I am terrified of, since I never really experienced it myself."

Allen looked away slightly and then pulled Lavi to him, "Lavi, why didn't you tell me?"

"Isn't it a little silly to be afraid of love?" Lavi asked quietly.

Allen's eyes widened and he looked up to the redhead looking straight into his eyes, "Lavi….It's not silly at all, and you're not alone there! Since you cut me off, refused to talk to me I realized that when you weren't around I felt like a mess. My chest hurt and my heart felt like it was being torn apart…That's when I realized something though, I was actually starting to get feelings for you…I started to think that maybe I could actually love you, and that terrified me."

The redhead looked to the white haired youth a little confused but allowed Allen to continue on as he continued with letting his heart out, "Allen, why didn't you say something?"

The white haired youth sighed and buried his face in the redhead's chest, "I wasn't sure how you'd handle it, since I'm well a guy you know. We never really talked about stuff like that."

That's when it had hit the redhead, with all the time they had been spending together Allen had started to develop feelings for him. He couldn't deny that the same thing was happening to him as well, he just wasn't sure how to explain it. Instead, Allen had managed to convey his feelings with such ease, it almost made the redhead happy. Pulling Allen into a hug he let out a soft sigh, he needed to say something, anything for the white haired boy's sake.

"Every time we hung out I was going through the same thing, Allen. On that night I couldn't take it anymore and gave into my impulses. I've never had anyone actually care or love for me, and actually mean it. I'm so sorry though after our first meeting I vowed that I would never try and hurt you, but yet I managed to do that." Lavi admitted painfully.

Allen looked up a soft smile forming, "I'll forgive you, Lavi. Under one condition though."

"Name it." Lavi responded.

Allen smiled and pulled Lavi down and kissed him, "Never run away like that again, and don't worry about being afraid of your feelings. I like you that way as well, we can't call it love just yet, right? Maybe together though, we can actually learn to love one another."

Lavi was still trying to process everything from the kiss to Allen's words, "Allen…"

The white haired youth smiled and let go of Lavi returning to leaning against the wall, "Lavi you look beat red right now it's actually kinda cute"

"And who's doing is that?" Lavi mumbled returning back to what he was supposed to be doing.

"Aww it couldn't be that bad right?" Allen grinned once more.

The redhead smiled and walked past the boy kissing his cheek, "No, I guess not. I don't know why but getting that off my chest I feel a lot lighter."

Allen smiled as he watched Lavi start putting the archives away, "That's good then, I feel a lot lighter too. So since we admitted that, what are we?"

Lavi stopped for a moment and thought about it. They had just admitted their feelings for one another even if it was in a vague way. He wouldn't have minded calling the white haired youth his significant other, but how would he feel about it? Putting one of the last files away he turned to Allen with a soft smile, "I dunno, I think I would be happy to call you a significant other."

The redhead watched as Allen turned bright red, but smiled as he nodded in agreement. Pulling Allen to him he felt a sense of happiness and security. Lavi was terrified to love, but if it was Allen then perhaps he could slowly come to learning to love not just the white haired boy, but himself as well. He was able to help Allen become more confident, especially if the boy had been able to admit everything that he had. The Allen he knew before wouldn't have been able to do so, but instead would have broken down and run away. Feeling Allen wrap his arms around him he smiled and kissed the top of his head, he felt happy.

Allen smiled as he wrapped his arms around Lavi and looked up, "I would be too, though I'd rather call you my boyfriend instead of a significant other. I like the ring of it better."

"Boyfriend, huh? Alright then I'll do what I can to make sure I'm the best boyfriend you've had." Lavi smiled.

Allen giggled a little, "You're the only one I've had. Hopefully it'll stay that way too."

Lavi nodded in agreement, and attention was pulled away as someone starting banging on the door. Unlocking it and swinging it open he was met with a very irritated Reever, "I'm almost done, unless you need me out of here sooner?"

"Lavi, you can be such a pain at times" Reever sighed smiling faintly, "But at least you seem to be back to your old self. We figured since we're done with our stuff we'd come help you with the archive room since it's been nuts with all the requests."

"I'm touched" Lavi replied sarcastically, but then smiled, "I'd appreciate any help I could get."

With a little effort Lavi, Reever, Dup, and Johnny had managed to put everything back where it belonged while Allen watched quietly from a chair he found against the wall. He found them to be an interesting bunch, and noticed that they all shared a close bond with how they would bicker at one another one moment, and the next playfully tease each other. They almost seemed like one happy dysfunctional family to an extent, but Allen felt right at home with them. Once the archive room was finished Lavi pulled him back out into the main lobby with everyone else.

"Since the buses are shut down, Lavi do you have room to give everyone a ride home?" Reever asked.

Lavi nodded, "Yeah not a problem. Your car's still in for repairs huh?"

Reever nodded, "I hadn't planned on us being shut down like this, nor the buses either. Wish those idiots at the garage would just hurry and fix the damn thing."

"What about you guys?" Allen asked Johnny and Dup.

"We take the bus too. Since we work for the city they give us free bus passes. However, when weather gets like this and the system gets shut down we're usually lucky enough that Lavi gives us a ride back home" Johnny smiled.

Dup nodded, "He's been a godsend numerous times."

"Well you two can stop praising me and get in the car" Lavi sighed grabbing his keys, "Allen sits up front with me. Reever can take one of the sides since his stop is first. You two can figure the other stuff out."

"How come he gets to sit up front?!" Everyone demanded pointing at Allen.

Lavi smiled and pulled Allen to him, "Cause he's my boyfriend so he automatically gets shotgun."

The look on everyone's face was priceless, and Allen could have sworn he was blushing from embarrassment. It was going to be an interesting ride to drop everyone off.

=End=


End file.
